Thursday, November 19, 2009

The will of God

As student teaching has come to an end and graduation in May is that much closer, my thoughts are frequently consumed by possibilities for the future. Decision-making has never been a strong point of mine, so this is cause for episodes of wide-eyed-and-mind-spinning nights in bed, freak-outs on the swings by Fischer, exhausting flip-flopping of opinions after each conversation with people I thought would have the answer, and desires for chocolate :) I so long to just go wherever the Lord wants me, but how are you supposed to find that? You'd think I would have this process down by now, but somehow I always worry that I'll make the wrong decision.

I did happen upon a wise women today who expressed her belief on finding God's will: "I've learned in life that it's not about the bulls-eye method; God's will does not have to be one specific organization with a specific group of people in a specific place. God's will is more like a canvas: He gives you choices within the boundaries of the canvas. There are many options that would be just as 'perfect'". That was SO helpful! I grew up thinking that the Lord thought in bulls-eye terms, but that is such a limited, human way of viewing life! God is so much bigger than that. Do I not think that I could glorify God in multiple contexts? Is He not powerful enough to work in my life wherever I am? Sure, He has given us the Holy Spirit to guide us in certain directions, but I think we have the freedom to choose from lots of great options. Going outside of my canvas might mean deciding to work at Starbucks for the rest of my life, or choosing to be a writer, or becoming a professional dancer. That just wouldn't make sense for me as an education major who is passionate about children and missions...that's outside of the canvas for me.

What's comforting is knowing that the Lord already knows where I will decide to go (as I follow the Holy Spirit's leading and use the knowledge that He has given me to make the best decision at this time of my life). Because of that, He has been preparing me and my future colleagues for my arrival. How cool is that?!!? It's a pretty freeing feeling. And to know that yes, we're human and we do make mistakes....but is God not big enough to use them for good??

What an exciting future we have ahead of us, knowing that the Lord will be with us every step of the way. This probably sounds cheesy, but I'm so ready to explore the world!